Strive to Leave Your World Better Than Your Found It

I can’t say I’m big into recycling or saving the Earth like modern society tells me I should be. “Horrors!” I know.  Be the parent of any school-aged child and your 1970’s throw-away mentality will land you in a heap of trouble!  The importance of saving our planet, protecting our watershed and ensuring that we don’t harm [enter your favorite species here] seems to be drilled into elementary children on a near-daily basis.   Maybe all this indoctrination is akin to the challenges my generation went through in convincing our elders that wearing seat belts was important, but sometimes I think it gets to be too much. After all, it is just common sense. We all need to leave our little corner of the world better than we found it.

And in this time of economic uncertainty facing our nation, taking a practical approach to responsible living is not only good for the environment, but it is pretty darn good for the wallet too!  Efforts to conserve energy, reuse versus discard items intended to be disposable and make some conscious decisions to abandon some modern conveniences in favor of some more practical alternatives will have both financial and environmental impact.  No, we may never live to see true environmental impact of our efforts, but then again, will we really ever fully realize the true efforts of the daily work we put into instilling values and character into our kids?  But we do it anyway…

So, from the world’s biggest non-recycler – the girl who put her glass, bottles and paper in the garbage until the city’s trash company figured out how THEY were going to sort it – here’s some suggestions on what we can all do to leave our world better than we found it.

• Only order water in a restaurant if you are going to drink it.  Next time you dine out, look at how many people in the restaurant are served water and never touch the glass.  That’s a lot of water being used to make ice, fill glasses and wash them later – all for nothing!  Simply suggest to the wait staff that you don’t need the glass – and tell him/her politely why.  (That said, you need the 6-8 glasses a day!)
• Do more laundry in cold water.  The technology advances in laundry detergents to allow for some pretty powerful cleaning in cold water alone is pretty impressive.  (Trust me on this; being in the grocery business, I’ve sat through some pretty lengthy presentations on the topic!)  While we’ve all been taught that whites must be washed and rinsed in hot water only, I think you’ll be impressed with the results you get from a cold water experience.
• Shop and Dine Local.  The movement to support local businesses is continuing to gain momentum.  There are some seriously practical reasons to support your local restaurants, grocery and specialty stores that are worth considering:  you can save gas, you will have opportunities to meet and interact with your neighbors and local community residents, a thriving local business community directly benefits the value of your home and you will find products and services that the big box stores and chains cannot offer.  You might pay more on some items, but consider the entire value of the experience before you jump in your car and head to the nearest mall.
  
• Plant a Tree.  It’s good for the land and the air we breathe!  If you plant it on the West side of your house, it can help save on cooling bills by eventually providing shade.  Planting a tree will help improve the value of your property …if you pick the right ones!  Consider planting a tree to commemorate significant events in your family’s life:  birthday trees are a great way to honor a family member each year and help the environment!
• Bottle Your Own Water.  Bottled water isn’t what it used to be.  If you look closely at most labels, you are really just paying for someone else to fill a bottle (most are not recycled, BTW) from some public water supply in a factory somewhere.  Yes, if you love artisanal, high-end waters and know what you are buying, you may be justified (the Ritz-Carlton in Battery Park has their own water sommelier for all their amazing offerings!).  But if you are just trying to stay hydrated, consider seriously a reusable bottle.  It is a better choice for your purse and the environment.
• Recycle Wire Coat Hangers.  Nobody likes those nasty things except your dry cleaner, so take them back to them!  Steel cannot be recycled and those hangers are about the worst possible thing for your clothing.  When you are going to the cleaners, take a stack of his hangers back so he can use them again!
• Keep Lists and Combine Your Trips.  Trip consolidation is something we’re all doing more of to conserve time and gas.  Keep a list handy in the kitchen of what you need and where you need it from.  It pays to ensure when someone is running out to the grocery store to grab a gallon of milk that they know the repair shop they are driving right past has your job ready to be picked up.  In busy households, a good central communication spot and list making habits will enable you to better plan and consolidate trips; you can save time, gas and money!
• Pack Your Own.  We’ve become lunch-packers at our house and it has started a trend of sorts for us.  Not only has my daughter slimmed down from eating healthier, but we’re using more reusable containers and real silverware (“tastes better to eat from, Mom!”), we are buying less individual pre-portioned foods (the cost-per-serving was ridiculous!) and we are discovering all sorts of creative new menu ideas that would never before have been an option.  It takes a little extra effort, but the routine of packing a lunch is a great way to live better on so many levels – and it give me a chance to tuck in a little note of encouragement to pump up my girl midday!
• Second Hand; Not Second Best.  There is an unnecessary stigma in the minds of many with using pre-owned items.  I say ‘get over it!’  When I look around my house at all of the things I needed, paid dearly for, and only used once or twice, I get a little irritated with myself.  How much money have I wasted?  Consignment stores and resale shops are great options for many of the things we need, but only for single-use or short periods of time:  kid’s bicycles, play and exercise equipment, home and garden appliances, etc.  Many times, the items you need can be purchased and sold back, allowing you to basically rent them for the time you need them.

We all have a responsibility to take care of our space and be good stewards of the environment.  We need to use common sense to ensure that the messes we make are necessary messes and that we’re doing all we can to clean them up and leave the space in as good of – or even better condition – for the next guy who comes along!  We need to think twice before using the things we use and see if there is a better alternative:

• paper towel or dish towel
• plastic container or glass container
• lights on or lights off
• drive or walk
• buy new or explore pre-owned, rent or borrow
• need immediately or delay until there are more errands to run

Simple, conscious choices; changes really can make a difference.

Take More Walks

Learn more about the Walking Challenge at walkertracker.com!

If you’ve ever spent any time outside of the U.S., one of the first things you will likely notice is how accessible everything seems to be.  Whether it is Europe, the Far East, South America or even our friends to the North, the cities I’ve visited all have a way of making their world feel more local.  Everywhere you go, everyone seems to be walking.  Some may be on bikes, or pushing a carriage.  But if there is an option to go on two feet, chances are it is the preferred way to go.  More importantly, their destinations all seem to be within walking distance.

And maybe it is a bit of a “what came first, the chicken or the egg” argument, but I cannot help wonder of people outside the U.S. walk more because everything they need is within walking distance, or if everything is within walking distance because people just like to walk.  Either way, you don’t see the glut of cars and traffic in most villages and towns in Europe.  You see people of all ages out walking.  Rain or shine.  They walk to work.  They walk to school.  They walk to get their groceries.  Whatever the time of day or occasion, they walk!

Yes, it may be that their small towns are more pedestrian-friendly and big cities more picturesque and compact, but walking has really paid off for the continent. I rarely see obesity in Europe, even though Europeans do like their rich foods. In fact, even very old and frail men and women walk everywhere: running errands, shopping, and hauling everything back home to an old apartment building without elevators. If they can do it, so can we! Putting walking to practice will really make a difference in how we look, how we feel about ourselves, our ability to get in touch with our world and yes, finally meet the neighbors who live and work right next door!

In her book, Wanderlust:  A History of Walking, author Rebecca Solnit shares profound wisdom and insight on the joys and benefits of walking.  I especially like her comment:

“Many people nowadays live in a series of interiors…disconnected from each other. On foot everything stays connected, for while walking one occupies the spaces between those interiors in the same way one occupies those interiors. One lives in the whole world rather than in interiors built up against it.”

Walking will undoubtedly take a concentrated effort.  Too many towns and communities have not made available sidewalks and pedestrian-safe cross walks a priority.  In my own community, you practically have to take your life in your own hands to cross the street less than a block from my house and despite the fact that the corner is a daily school bus stop for children, the city planners have failed to see the need for a painted cross walk.  We don’t let that deter us, we simply walk the opposite direction!

Find ways that you can walk more this year and put your feet to work for you!  Take the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator.  Take the parking space farthest from the building instead of the closest.  Walk to the deli across the way at lunch instead of driving.  Ditch the treadmill on Saturdays for the real thing and go find a park or a country road that you can really get out and explore.

There are plenty of ways to get moving and leave behind today’s sedentary lifestyle. Simply put your mind to it, and you can begin to make a difference.

Become More Curious

I don’t accept much at face value these days. It isn’t that I am a “doubting Thomas” of sorts, I am just, by nature curious. I am a natural born researcher and have learned that a healthy sense of curiosity is a great resource for life.

When I was a kid, my parents – like probably most of their generation – invested in a massive set of Encyclopedias for our family. The gilt-edged pages of that 20-volume set were well-worn by the time four kids left the roost. I loved curling up in a chair in the Living Room and grabbing a book and just randomly opening it to a page and start reading. It was an interesting way to explore the world and discover new knowledge.

It is so much easier today. With all of the technology at our disposal, we don’t have to wait to grab a massive text to read and research. We can just Google it and the answer (and ten twists on the theme) are instantly available. The knowledge is there…we just have to be curious enough to ask.

My curiosity drives my family mad, as I am typically the one who can turn a simple drive into an expedition of unknown destination with one curious question to my iPhone. I see a bridge dedicated to some unknown person and I want to know who they were and why they were worthy of such a tribute. A few quick keystrokes later, we are off the Interstate and meandering down some country road, detouring to the quaint country town of the honoree to checkout some tidbit I’ve uncovered. My curiosity has unearthed amazing antiques finds, picturesque drives, interesting views of architecture, middle America and, yes, some big duds. But it always creates some conversation and memories.

Curiosity is a willing, proud, and eager admission of ignorance.” –S. Leonard Rubenstein

When you think about how to advance your life and your goals in the year ahead, make sure you have include a healthy dose of curiosity into your plan! There is no way to learn, grow and expand your potential than to question and seek knowledge.

Why be curious? Curiosity doesn’t really kill the cat as the old saying goes. More often than not, it opens up a whole new world for the kitty to explore and discover. Curiosity has all sorts of benefits:

Curiosity helps us see the big picture.. At work or at home, being curious enables us to look at the world in a macro sense and start to see the patterns and trends that are occurring that our “heads down” perspectives miss. By looking bigger, questioning and probing deeper, we will start to get behind the veneer of what we think we know and into the essence of reality.

Curiosity stimulates an active mind. When your mind is actively thinking, challenging, on the constant move looking for new ways and ideas, it becomes an explosive factory of creativity, fueling creativity and imagination. The more your tone and exercise your mental muscle, the stronger it becomes. Passive minds don’t produce great ideas and energy; active curious minds do!

Curiosity opens doors you cannot even see! People with curious minds see potential and opportunity not visible to others. They are the ones who can look beneath the surface of normal, everyday life and turn the mundane into extraordinary opportunity. They never stop asking the “what if’s” and “I wonder why’s” of discovery.

Even if you are not, by nature, a curious person, you can train yourself to develop the skills of curiosity. It is really quite easy:
1. Read more, including genres and magazines outside of your normal comfort zone
2. Ask questions! There’s a reason why a developing toddler pepper’s us with the endless “why’s”!
3. Don’t dismiss something immediately as boring. Be willing to view it as an opportunity to learn something new…curious people do!
4. Be open minded. Different opinions, different foods, different music… they all represent the doorways to new learning and experiences.
5. Develop a passion for learning. The more you love to learn and love knowledge, the more your curiosity muscles will strengthen and develop!

Author Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote the book Eat, Love, Pray, ran into a serious case of writer’s block when she went to work on her next book. A good friend gave her some sage advice,

…don’t worry about your passion for a while. Just follow your curiosity instead.”

Sometimes when we are at a crossroads in life and we need to find a new direction, we need to know it is ok to lighten up on ourselves. If you are weighing the challenges of new goals and directions in 2013, maybe it’s time for you to give yourself a little break a follow your curiosity for a while. The fuel and spark you are looking for might be waiting just below the surface for you to discover!

Create Something Beautiful!

A new year is a time to take on a bold new endeavor. It is a time to push yourself and challenge your mind to grow and expand in a new direction. As you continue on the quest to map out a bold set of new goals and challenges for yourself in 2013, don’t be afraid to unleash that inner creative genius!  This year, create something truly beautiful.

It doesn’t have to be some super crafty Pinterest sort of project that looms a little ‘Stepford Wife’ creepy. Which, by the way, I read the other day somewhere is what is happening… All these wickedly creative projects being photographed and pinned on that site is making folks a little on edge. If you are one of those who is starting to feel a little insecure because you don’t bejewel and sparkle your home for every holiday with 47 different unique projects that are worthy of a thousand “repins”, let me clue you in on a little secret.

The amateurs are being overrun by corporate America. The number of business accounts and professional memberships are growing at an alarming rate. Don’t beat yourself up thinking Suzy Homemaker is crafting all that nifty stuff on her dining room table.

I’m not saying there aren’t some unbelievably amazing and fantastic ideas on that site; there are some mind-blowing ideas that are truly inspiring! But just like Martha Stewart has an army of assistants, designers, food stylists, photographers, etc., to make her projects picture-perfect, the same can be said for an increasing amount of the boards and ideas emerging on Pinterest.

But I digress…

Creating something beautiful can be as simple as designing and planting a beautiful vegetable garden, teaching yourself how to cook a new dish or taking a fun class to learn a new craft. Try your hand at making a piece of pottery or learning how to turn found objects into art. Maybe you want to learn a new language or dig into your family tree and map your ancestors…do it!

This is the year that you need to chart new waters and explore the depth of your creative talents. The stress release, the sense of accomplishment and the sheer joy that comes from creating is, alone, worth the experience!

“People often say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.”    –Selma Hayek

I’ve started my list of things my family has been discussing we’re going to tackle.  We’ve been toying with them, collecting ideas and planning some of them for far too long.  In some cases, we’ve already begun and in others, we have big plans for how we will reward ourselves for achieving our goal.  Big or small, the projects will challenge us, be fun along the way and yield long-lasting and memorable results on the other side!  Our short list includes:

1.  Remodel our master bathroom (finally!)

2.  Learn French together and then plan a trip to Paris as a family

3.  Master sushi making

4.  Take a mother/daughter digital photography course

5.  Build a treehouse with a zipline escape route

Do you have a list?  Jot down your top five!  Go on, pick some things that are truly really special and beautiful in your eyes.  This is your year to step into a bigger box (I don’t believe in stepping outside of the box) and make it happen!

Volunteering Your Time and Talents

How many times have you been at a school, church or community event and thought to yourself, “I could do __________ better?”  Whether it was how the event organizers had written the program – misspellings and all, or the poorly constructed stage that you knew with your workshop full of tools you could have squared up in a few hours, or even the simple organization of the post-meeting dessert buffet, the need for volunteerism has never been greater!

I think back to the days when communities were smaller and more self-sufficient (or perhaps it was just the smaller community from which I came), but we all seemed to do a better job of taking care of our own, of stepping up and participating and giving back to ensure we were all contributing of our time and talents to ensure the needs of our communities and their residents were being met.  We made sure no one did without:  children in classrooms had parents who readily volunteered to help teachers read, prepare class projects and support school programs.  The local accountant helped the PTA or the community museum balance the books; the bakery made sure the end of the day’s leftovers were delivered to the local orphanage and children there had treats with their evening meal.  We all found ways to look at the unique and special talents we were given and reinvest them back into the communities we live and work in to better society.

Yes, the world today has become more demanding of us all.  Most household’s require all adults to work outside the home to make ends meet.  We all seem to drive further to our jobs and juggle seemingly more and more responsibilities than our parents ever did.  But we also seem to have a lot more discretionary luxury and conveniences to entertain us and lighten our load.  Deep down, I honestly think that there is a balance of time none of us are seriously considering.

And what if we gave back some of that time to benefit the greater good?

When I think about the small community I grew up in, it seemed like people were more engaged and involved in helping others and working toward the common good.  Perhaps it was the time society was in back then, or just the nature of small town ways, but I didn’t see the hurt or the dependency on public  programs that it appears society is now so reliant upon.  We all have talents and gifts that, if we made more time to give back, the world really could be a better place.

How more viable could your community pantry be if the local grocer helped them understand how to rotate and organize their good stocks, or leverage his relationship with local vendors to donate samples and discontinued product?  What benefits might come to a local private school’s enrollment efforts in the Dad with his own PR firm helped them develop a more robust and effective campaign?  Where could the local boys’ and girls’ club’s after-school program take their capital campaign program with the help of some pro bono legal and CPA support?  Where can you give of your time and talents?

“You are not here merely to make a living.  You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with finer spirit of hope and achievement.  You are here to enrich the world, and to impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”  —Woodrow Wilson

Someone once asked the anthropologist Margaret Mead (1901-1978), “What is the first sign you look for, to tell you of an ancient civilization?” The interviewer had in mind a tool or article of clothing. Ms. Mead surprised him by answering, a “healed femur”. She went on to explain that when someone breaks a femur, they can’t survive to hunt, fish or escape enemies unless they have help from someone else. Thus, a healed femur indicates that someone else helped that person, rather than abandoning them and saving themselves. It is a pretty amazing story when you think about it.  After all, volunteering is really all about helping to heal the proverbial ‘broken femurs’ in the worlds in which we live, work and play.

If you are looking for how you can get plugged into volunteering opportunities, there are hundreds of organizations in your local area that are clamoring for help!  If you don’t know where to start, two organizations that do a great job of connecting people and needs are VolunteerMatch.org and Actions Without Borders.  Both are among many websites geared to offer connections between the talents of people looking to serve and the organizations in need!

Don’t discount volunteering because you are too busy with work or have other priorities in 2013 around making new friends, finding a new job, etc.,  Volunteering offers some amazing opportunities and benefits most people who haven’t gotten involved in giving back often overlook:

• Opportunities to make new friends and develop relationship skills
• Learn and hone critical career skills
• Gain experience in new fields, or refresh skills you may have put on hold during a career hiatus
• Have fun and experience the fulfillment of sacrifice and serving others

Giving of our time and talents is a gift we should all be grateful that we can be able to do.  Find time in 2013 to see how you can make your world a better place by giving back!  I’ll bet you anything that the one who benefits the most is you!

Write (And Live!) Your Personal Mission Statement

What are the odds that you can jump in your car, with zero preparation, take off without a map or any serious idea of where you want to end up, and truly find yourself  taking the journey of a lifetime?  Yeah, a big fat long shot, right? If you want to take that grand expedition that you’ve dreamed about forever – the one you’ve saved a lifetime for – you are going to read, plan and research every minute aspect of that trip so that you make every single moment count. Guess what?  Your life needs that kind of planning, too.

Having a personal mission statement is akin to the roadmap or your life. It is the culmination of some deep, soul-searching work we all need to do to question the true purpose for our being. We need to take a seriously hard look at ourselves and be willing to ask:  What are our values? Why are we here? What is the legacy we want to leave behind?  Who do we want to become?

“To come to be you must have a vision of Being, a Dream, a Purpose, a Principle.  You will become what your vision is.”  –Peter Nivio Zarlenga

You might think that writing a personal mission statement sounds a little bit of daunting.  Maybe it sounds a little too serious.  Don’t think of it that way at all!  Instead, think of it as you own personal manifesto on your fabulousness!  Your symphony.  Your recipe for life.  Whatever you want to call it, it is your own personal letter to yourself on the critical guide stones and touch points that make your life worth living. 

If you need a little inspiration on where to start, here’s a few suggestions on some writing, thinking and pondering you need to do.  And before you look at the list, keep in mind this isn’t a “sit down and slam it out in twenty minutes” project.  This is your life we’re talking about!  This is a curl up in a favorite chair over many weeks assignment.  It’s a pull out your ideas when you’re stuck on a plane and refine it kind of project.  The kind of project when you are running your morning miles that you mull it over and over in your head type of work.  Got it?  Most of all, it is meant to be fun!  You get to seriously throw all rules and limitations about everything you were ever told you could and couldn’t do, be or desire in life to the wind and define your future.  So, get a fresh notebook, a sharp pencil and let’s get cracking!

1.  List your things you absolutely love to do!

2.  I am at my utmost best when I am…

3.  If you could throw a dinner party, name the five people you’d invite because you truly admire them and list the one quality they possess that you admire the most.

4.  If you could do anything in the world, and time, education, money, etc., was no obstacle, what would you spend the rest of your life doing?

5.  Name the five characteristics you admire most in successful people.

6.  What about your current job do you absolutely love.  What do you despise?

7.  What do you want people to say about you at your 90th birthday party?

8.  What are you most proud of accomplishing for the people who matter most to you?

9.  What is the one thing that you can consistently lose all track of time doing that you absolutely love?

10.  The things you know, deep down, you need to change about yourself, but have repeatedly dismissed doing many time are…

Now, draw a big square and divide it into four quadrants.  Assign each square a section:  Physical, Spiritual, Social and Mental.  In each section, write down the three things you can do in each area to improve your life.  Focus on those short- and long-term priorities which can bring you the inner-peace and balance your life needs to open the door to true happiness and contentment.  Circle the one which will have the greatest impact.  Are you starting to see a theme?  You should be!

As you work through these questions, you’ll start to experience the power of your unchained thinking!  Don’t succumb to the limits of censorship!  Don’t worry about what anyone would think if they saw your work in progress!  This is your private work here, so don’t you dare allow anyone to squash the potential of what you are creating…it is your future!  Be honest and open with yourself and allow the power of your mind to truly explore the potential of who you are destined to become!

“If you don’t have your own plan, someone else is going to make you fit into their plan.”  –Anthony Robbins

As you work through all your thinking, you will be ready to start to pull your ideas and thoughts about where your future is taking you into the framework of your personal mission statement.  There is no prescribed format or specific way you must write your statement.  It is yours.  You need to write it in a way that inspires you, motivates you and helps you chart your life course.  After all, that’s why we’re doing this, right?  So that on those days when the wolves are at the door, we can stop and remind ourselves of what is important, refocus and make sure we’re still on the right path.

If you need some help in coming up with some good examples or formats, you can always go to the Franklin Covey site, as they are the experts in helping people find purpose and order in their lives.  Their online tool is pretty amazing!  There are some interesting resources on the value of a personal mission statement, as well as some motivating videos about change on The Change Blog.  Check it out!  Other cool and helpful tools are available on Time Thoughts.com and through personal coach Debra Moorhead. 

Regardless of what tools or resources you choose to use, I hope you’ll have the courage to put yourself on the path of a wonderfully empowering and introspective journey of writing a personal mission statement.  It will open your eyes, your heart and your destiny to a life of passion, happiness and fulfillment! 

I’m going to write my personal mission statement and I promise I will share it with you here.  Because it isn’t really real until we have the courage to show others who we are and where we’re planning to go.  Wish me luck!

Related articles

• A Tweetable Mission Statement (rmbenson.wordpress.com)
• Mission Statement (hiscoxusa.com)
• Paul’s Personal Mission Statement (wdednh.wordpress.com)

Expand Your Vocabulary

Sometimes when I think about all of the ways I want to learn, my head starts to birl. Don’t know that word? It’s today’s word of the day on Dictionary.com. To be honest, I didn’t know it either, but I do now! Learning new words is one of the goals I’ve set for myself this year, as I truly believe that an educated, well-spoken writer and speaker commands respect.

One of the most amazing things I’ve noted in my life, and especially in my professional career, is that how an individual’s ability to communicate has a profound impact on the way others relate to them. Unfortunately, it isn’t always fair either. Some of the greatest discrimination I’ve witnessed has come at the expense of someone being discounted because their speech fell short of effectively delivering their message. I’ve watched incredibly bright, qualified job candidates never get past the screening process because their words fell flat on their intended audience. I’ve seen sales people, who had a great product to sell and a prospective customer ready to buy, not make the deal because the message was garbled in a transmission of poorly chosen words and bad delivery.

A powerful, expansive vocabulary gives your conversation meaning and brings your words to life. It adds depth and character to your dialogue and makes people want to listen to you. When the words you use are limited, so are others’ interest in you. If you only have empty, boring words, then you offer no real substance to the listener, leaving them hungry for more meaning and details. Give it to them this year! Take on the challenge to expand your vocabulary!

Here’s hope! The most amazing thing about an expansive vocabulary is that it is available to anyone! You do not need an ivy-league education to afford a diverse and expansive choice of words with which to express yourself! You simply need the desire to want to know how to learn and communicate more effectively, more colorfully and a willingness to invest some time in challenging your brain to grow!

One of the easiest ways is the sign up for a word of the day web service. There are several sites that offer free daily delivery of new words that you can have delivered to your inbox: wordsmith.org or dictionary.com are two of the more popular. But don’t just get the words…you have to use them! You have to make a point to immediately put the words into action into your language and groove them into your brain!

Another simple way to expand your word power is crossword puzzles. My Dad religiously did a crossword puzzle everyday. It was an unwritten rule in my house that the comic’s page of the daily newspaper, where you could find the crossword puzzle in the bottom left corner, was Dad’s property. No one ever dared to touch that page or attempt to try to complete the puzzle before Dad took a crack at it. I was always amazed at how many words he knew and how quickly he could complete any crossword puzzle. Years of practice had honed his brain and built up his mental storehouse of knowledge.

Reading a dictionary is also an interesting way to expand your knowledge. I know it sounds a little bizarre, but it really is a rather interesting experience if you give it a try. I like to read cookbooks – I read them like most people read novels – to get new ideas about ingredient combinations and to inspire my passion for cooking. The same results can be achieved in reading a dictionary. Take 30 minutes and waltz through a few pages of a good, heavy-duty, unabridged dictionary and I promise you will stumble across some new words and knowledge you can immediately put to use! And by the way, the same can be accomplished with a Thesaurus! What a great way to find a new word to replace the one you always use!

Speaking of a Thesaurus, if reading isn’t your thing, give a visual look at words a try. I fell in love with a tool called ThinkMap a few years ago and continue to use this site today when I get really stumped about a word. It is a great, interactive tool that lets you visually see the relationship between words. You can have a little fun with the trial app, or spend a little money (well worth it!) to have this tool at your ready to play until your heart’s content and learn daily words and interactively expand your word power and knowledge.

Reading for pleasure, or for business, will always help enlarge the reach of your vocabulary to new dimensions. It is why we all push our children to learn to read at such a young age and why we should never, ever stop reading. If you have a eReader, you also know that a simple ‘tap’ on any word immediately gives you the definition. Shame on us all for skimming over an unfamiliar word and not taking a pause to make sure we really know the meaning! Today’s digital world has enabled such incredible power for immediacy in learning that we’re crazy if we aren’t taking advantage of it.

So take on the challenge of expanding your vocabulary. When you accept the challenge, you will be able to:

1. Truly say what you mean

2. Better understand others

3. Enjoy and understand what you read more

4. Boost your power of persuasion

5. Better grasp ideas and think more logically

6. Communicate more effectively

7. Make a better impression on others

Take on the challenge to build a bigger vocabulary. Avoid the temptation to throw out the big words you’ve learned every chance you get. No one will be impressed that you can memorize Webster’s Unabridged Double Volumes. Part of the value of expanding your vocabulary is to learn to use words appropriately. Remember the words of Mark Twain,

“Never use a 5-dollar word when a 50-cent word will do.”

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A Less Cluttered Life

junk drawer (Photo credit: Robert Couse-Baker)

The junk drawer in my kitchen is about to explode.  I’m guessing we all have a junk drawer (or two in our homes). Mine is a big 48″ wide number that we upgraded to when we renovated our kitchen a few years ago. It seemed like a good idea at the time; a wider drawer that ran the width of the double cabinet beneath so that I could more easily organize and find the contents within. Yeah, right. It’s just more space to shove stuff I don’t know where else to put.

Unfortunately, it isn’t just the drawer in my kitchen that needs a little “de-cluttering” today. I have a nine-year-old who, I truly believe, is part squirrel. She has a tendency to hide things in her nest and save them for later; later never comes.

Her bedroom is a myriad of “collections” of things she has hung onto seemingly since birth: stuffed animals, junk prizes and toys from kids’ meals, mountains of rainy day crafts and artwork, treasures galore! I have boxes in the attic of things I have saved for her that I doubt she will even want and as she gets older, my desire to save is growing less and less. The clutter it all creates is driving me mad.

Clutter in our life – whether it comes from unnecessary things, past hurts, toxic friendships, etc., – are unnecessary burdens that will slow us down in 2013. I don’t know about you, but for me, it is time to make a conscious effort to clean it up! Don the rubber gloves, the protective eyewear, grab a big old garbage bag and start tossing!

“Life is simplified when there is one center; one reason, one motivation, one direction and purpose.”   Jean Fleming

So, how do you go about the process of decluttering your life? Quite honestly, the drawer is easy. It just takes starts with a serious commitment to do it, an honest effort and acceptance that you didn’t accumulate all that clutter in one day, so you aren’t going to get rid of it in a day either! Any good organization website or book will tell you there are some simple rules to follow and suggest the basic rules of the four boxes:  keep, toss, fix, give away. A simple and easy approach can be found at the idiotsguides.com website.

But the bigger challenges we all face are the emotional and personal clutter we’ve assembled in our lives. It’s a little more difficult to toss, fix or give away the emotional baggage and toxic relationships that clutter our thinking and weigh us down. Hurt is hard to pack up in a box and set on the curb. You can, however, take ownership of the people, relationships and emotions that you allow to rule and clutter your thinking.  After all, rude people, lousy bosses, indifferent spouses and ten-year-old anger have no more of a room in our lives than wornout shoes and a drawer full of Tupperware with missing lids.

Unpacking emotional baggage isn’t easy work and it sure isn’t for sissies. There’s a whole cottage industry of folks peddling advice – good and bad – and millions of dollars being made on the backs of a world of hurting hearts looking for answers. I’m no psychologist so I won’t begin to suggest I have the solutions for you here, but I can offer this from my own experiences and encouragement for you to tell you it is all worth the work:

1.  We all have blind spots when it comes to the baggage we carry. We need to look at the anger, hurt, distrust and frustrations we feel with complete honesty. And dang, that’s hard, gut-wrenching work!  Do it anyway!

2.  Finger-pointing and blame doesn’t work. If you want to unload the Samsonites, then unload them. You’ll never get the crap unpacked if all you want to do is shift the responsibility for what’s inside to your parents, your spouse, or your dead Uncle who mistreated you 20 years ago. The past is the past. Just unpack the crap and move on!

3.  Forgive. There’s a whole huge uncluttered life waiting for you out there. The freedom you can have by just forgiving and moving forward is so powerful. Yes, you were hurt and it was real, but by not forgiving you are the one clinging to the pain. The hurt being inflicted now is coming from you not extending forgiveness. Tough stuff, but that’s the way it is. And yes, you might have to forgive yourself, too. Do it!

An uncluttered life is a life of freedom. It is a way to rid yourself of the excess that weighs down your life, your thinking, your ability to be the absolute best person you were meant to be.

So, here’s to you, in 2013, making the effort to eliminate the clutter in your life and moving closer to the self you are destined to become!

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Respecting The Clock / Time Management

If there is anything I hate, it is being late! I absolutely cannot stand to show up for an event or appointment past the appointed hour and find situations will make me late – even when they are beyond my control – horribly stressful!

I am embarrassed to admit that on September 11, 2001, I was sitting at Washington’s Dulles airport on a fully loaded 747 airplane bound for Narita, Japan via Chicago. I was only going as far as Chicago; flying out and back in the same day for a very important client meeting. As a very frequent flier, I had arrived at the airport early and was enjoying my morning coffee and catching the early news in an airline club lounge when the horrible events of the day began to unfold.

Even after seeing two planes crash in New York on the Today Show, the magnitude of what was happening was beyond comprehension. My years of sage traveling experience was telegraphing to my brain that the likelihood of my day trip not getting fouled up in air traffic delays was pretty low. I was so stressed out as I boarded my flight – not over the tragedy unfolding – but in the fear that I was about to get stuck in a delay and miss my meeting.

Yes, the plane was jammed with travelers. I was in the business class section and frantically working my Blackberry trying to see if I was going to be delayed. I checked with the flight attendant (who was certain we would not be impacted “that’s in New York, this is Washington!”), sent emails to my office, called my travel agent (not yet open), my sister in Ohio, anything to get some sliver of news as to whether this mess in New York might impact my trip. After sitting and waiting, I finally decided to bag the flight and got off. My ‘sixth sense’ told me not to fly and I knew I’d never make my meeting. In my own defense, no one could fathom the horror of that day or the magnitude of the crisis that would befall our nation.

I share my story not to paint myself as some insensitive oaf, but to make the point that sometimes events do make it impossible to have complete control of the clock. I count my blessings that my plane was not one chosen that day for use as a weapon of mass destruction. And I am reminded that the time we have is precious. The work we have to do is important and we must never taken even a second for granted.

But there are many things we can do to respect the clock and more effectively manage our time in the year ahead. If you can find ways to more effectively manage and respect the clock, you will find a much less stressed 2013 in your path!

Some things you might consider as you look for ways to not waste your time:

1. Give up being a perfectionist! Striving for excellence should always be your goal, but driving yourself mad by seeking perfection is an unnecessarily ridiculous time waster. Be your best, but you’ll watch the time waste away trying to eek out the nth degree of perfect!

2. Reversely, make sure your first effort at anything is a serious attempt. Nothing is a bigger waste of time, energy and resources than the lame, half-hearted effort that only has to be done (and redone!) later. If it is worth doing, give it a serious try the first time!

3. Plan your work / work you plan. I see so much stress come from people who go through life by just “winging it.” No real plan or organization to their life or even their day. What a time waster that is! You don’t start building a house without a blueprint and all of the needed construction materials for the first phase staged at the job site, why would your day deserve less? Quit wasting time by not taking five minutes to just get a plan together! It is so easy and the return is ten-fold!

4. Stop procrastinating! Nothing chews up the minutes more than the five-minute job from last week that, left unattended, became the 30 minute job on this week’s to-do list. Everyone should have a list of the nasty jobs that must be accomplished and make it a point to tackle one each day until they are done. Putting it off won’t do anything but make your time management situation even worse! Putting them on slips of paper in a jar in the kitchen that everyone in the household can share is a great way to teach everyone the importance of “working the list.”

5. Seek understanding when you don’t know how. Ego loves to dine on time and when your pride stands in the way of asking for help on a project – or something as simple as directions – just stand back and watch the minutes to your day tick away. This year, don’t be afraid – or too proud – to ask someone for a little help or direction when you need it. The time it gives you back will astound you!

Time is a precious resource. What is amazing about it is that we are all given the same amount each day. Rich or poor, famous or infamous, we all have the exact same 24 hours to invest daily. Learn how to spend yours wisely this year. You control when and where you invest it. Learn to say no. Learn not to overcommit your time to people, things and responsibilities that are not necessary or important. Find ways to scale back the time you might be wasting on mindless things.

How can you learn to respect the clock in 2013 and become a better steward of time? It is a laudable goal and one I hope I can succeed at. Let me know how you are doing at it!

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